


s is for...

by inabsurd



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Gen, Homelessness, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Minimal comfort, Self-Esteem Issues, Swearing, all the usual Stan warnings apply
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-06-30 10:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19850962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inabsurd/pseuds/inabsurd
Summary: "Sure it is!" the guy--his brother's friend, apparently--insists, "I'm sparing you a real tongue lashing, Fez! You should be grateful you don't have to hear what he thinks. IQ here is a real ass when he gets going."Distantly, Stan thinks that this is a bad idea, that he should spare his own feelings and hang up. Instead, he asks, "What's he say about me?" because he never did learn when enough was enough.AU where Bill picks up Ford's phone and has a lengthy conversation with Stan.





	s is for...

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to procrastinate my other wips

The light of the gas station casts a harsh glow in the otherwise pitch black night. It's autumn now, and Stan has had the misfortune of being banned in most of the Southern states by this point that he has no choice but to spend the colder months in Wisconsin. A cool breeze brings with it a flurry of premature snowflakes that leave the grifter shuddering in the chilled air. Still, he doesn't budge from his spot, a small payphone on the gas station wall, eyes glued resolutely to the little screen before him requesting his hard-earned quarters.

The vagrant sighs and glances wistfully back at his Diablo. It's not much warmer in there since his heater core blew last spring, but it'd be out of the wind at least, which is a major improvement. Even as he tries to talk himself back into the car, back into the heat, into saving what little money he has for something more useful, though, his heart clenches painfully and Stan knows he won't be walking away without hearing his voice.

Every time the conman misses home, misses his twin, he dials the ten-digit number given to him by his mother just to hear Ford's voice. They've been out of contact for nearly ten years now, and every year it gets harder and harder for Stan to convince himself to say hello. He never stops calling though, despite how he knows he should. It hurts more than anything else, to hear Ford answer the phone as though Stanley is a stranger rather than his twin, but apparently the vagrant is some type of masochist because he keeps doing it.

Stan sighs and gives in, as he always does. Surrendering his coins, he dials the number he at this point knows by heart and waits.

The dial tone sounds so many times that the thief thinks he ought to just hang up and hope the machine returns his money when finally, mercifully, the phone picks up.

 _"Y'ello!"_ a cheery, nasally voice answers. It sounds somewhat familiar, like Ford's would with a cold, except he's never heard his brother answer the phone in such an informal way.

The vagrant flounders slightly, "Sorry," he says without thinking, "I must've got the wrong number."

The phone is maybe a foot away from his ear, hand outstretched towards the cradle, when he hears the voice on the line speak up. The words are indistinguishable at this distance, but the tone is commanding enough that Stan hesitates and then slowly brings the phone back to his ear.

"Say again?" he asks, more out of curiosity and a nagging feeling that _I didn't dial wrong_ than anything else.

The voice comes again, just as loud and obnoxious as before, but the words the man says makes the salesman freeze uncomfortably as he is once again caught off guard, " _You're Stanley Pines._ "

The phrase isn't inquisitive in the least but instead said as if it is some undeniable certainty. Like the speaker is watching Stan even as they stand miles and miles apart.

For the younger twin, admitting to his identity--any of his identities, really--is a dangerous roulette game that usually ends in the conman being beaten, robbed, or roped into some task as the fall guy. His real name, though, hasn't been used since his first or second year on his own, which begs the question, _Who the hell is this guy?_

Someone who knows his true identity probably isn't someone he owes money to, which helps to kill the urge to make a break for it, but it still doesn’t lessen the horrible feeling that turns his stomach.

"Depends who's asking," he finally says. The avoidance is more of a confirmation than a genuine attempt to throw the stranger off his trail, but he figures it'll give the guy on the line a chance to explain how he knows Stan.

Abrupt laughter sounds from the phone line, " _Wow, you're even dumber than he says you are,_ " he says in between chuckles.

Stan stiffens, torn between indignance and a desire to know who exactly he's dealing with. He settles for a little bit of both, "Who the hell is this?"

" _Friend of your brother,_ " is the dismissive response he gets, " _Man, Fordsy would be_ pissed _if he knew you were calling._ _Lucky I picked up instead'a him, huh?_

"I don't think being insulted is lucky," the grifter retorts.

" _Sure it is!_ " the guy--his brother's friend, apparently--insists, " _I'm sparing you a real tongue lashing, Fez! You should be grateful you don't have to hear what he thinks. IQ here is a real ass when he gets going._ "

Distantly, Stan thinks that this is a bad idea, that he should spare his own feelings and hang up. Instead, he asks, "What's he say about me?" because he never did learn when enough was enough.

He can practically hear the sneer on the guy's face as he says, " _Ooh, lots of things. He likes to call you suffocating, selfish, stubborn--lots of S-words!_ " the man says cheerily. " _Wanna hear my favourite one?_ " his tone darkens, chilling the air around the thief.

Alarm bells ring in the conman's head the way they do when he gets dragged into a heist. He shouldn't ask, shouldn't stay on the line, but…

 _Ma always censors it when I ask about Ford._ _This might be my only chance to get some real answers._

"What?"

" _Spare,_ " the man says, and Stan feels his stomach drop. " _Stanley the spare twin; the one you only fall back on if the other one's a dud. Ford's no dud though, is he? Smart Sixer who_ didn't _squander everyone's time like the spare Stan twin._ "

The vagrant gapes, "I'm not a-"

" _Oh_ , _and you're a scam artist to boot!_ " the voice crows, " _Face it, no one ever wanted_ you. _You were just scrap material that happened to get a brain shoved into it. Stupid, spare Stanley, the screw-up who shouldn't have existed in the first place. Stanford's shadow,_ " There is a long, drawn-out pause, " _But you knew that, right?_ "

He knows. God, Stan's known it for _years_ , but it's never been laid out so clearly, so cruelly. People always said he had no talent, no future, but to be called a _spare_?

The conman gulps, "Ford said that?"

" _He sure did!_ " the guy all but chirps, " _Some brother, eh? But it's well earned on your part considering the way his life is going._ "

Disbelief pinches Stan's face, "Ma said he still went to college," he points out, "He's doing his nerd research now."

" _Oh, sure, he's changing the world up here!_ " the person's voice turns dark, " _Trouble is, Six-Fingers is asking some pretty uncomfortable questions, and now I've got to shut him up, see?_ "

Any heat that Stan had in his body abruptly leaves, chilling him in sync with his rapidly pounding heart, "What?" he asks stupidly. Then the words sink in and rage crackles up his spine, not warming him in the slightest, but snapping him to a level of attention he only experiences in street fights or cop chases. Dangerously, he growls, "If you even think about hurting him, I'll punch your lights out."

That same laughter rings through the phone, and this time the conman can be sure he isn't imagining the mania in the man's voice, " _Little late for that, Fez! IQ's just so clumsy--he really is lucky to have me around to_ watch him _._ _You should be thanking me_."

“Thank you? Thank you?!” the vagrant all but roars, “You’ll be lucky if I don’t kill you when I get my hands on you.”

 _“Ouch. You know words hurt, right?”_ the man giggles, _“What are you gonna do? Storm up to your estranged brother’s house to take me down? Ha!_ _I’d like to see you try.”_

Stanley’s hand clenches around the phone hard enough to feel the flimsy plastic groan in protest, “You bet your ass that’s what I’m gonna do! Every bully Ford ever had learned not to screw with my brother, or else they'd answer to me!” and that, the thief can say with pride. He may be his brother’s shadow, and he may be stupid, stubborn, and the spare kid, but at the very least, he kept his twin safe. He did one thing right in his entire life and he’ll be damned if he screws it up now.

The voice turns dark, menacing, _“Well then, I look forward to meeting the spare Stan in person. If you get to Oregon, ask your brainiac brother for Bill Cipher. See you soon!”_ the line clicks dead, and the thief sinks to his knees moments after, utterly spent.

The thief gives a shuddering breath and squeezes his eyes shut as if that will somehow quiet the taunting that echoes in his brain. “I’m fine,” he whispers around the lump in his throat. His chest clenches rebelliously, calling him on his own bluff, “Okay, I’m not fine,” he mutters into his knees, “But neither is Ford.”

And that’s the kicker; it always is. When they were kids, Stan always protected Ford from the bullies. In his absence, it seems no one’s taken over his old position.

With a grunt, the grifter pulls himself to his feet, heading back to the Stanley-Mobile, “I might be a little rusty, but I bet I can still help Ford get rid of this creep."

He smiles slightly as he takes his place being the wheel and pulls out his map. _Maybe,_ he thinks, plotting the safest route to Oregon, _Ford can add a new S-word to his list after this. Saviour has a nice ring to it._

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first finished Gravity Falls fic so comments would be appreciated! I've got lots more in the works for this fandom but this is just something short I did because I love to make Stan suffer lol
> 
> If I missed any tags please let me know and I'll add them


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